August 21, 2023
If you’ve been following along our mini blog series focused on resilient leadership, you now know the behaviors of a resilient leader, and you know what being a resilient leader can do for your teams. Hopefully you have already completed a Devereux Resilient Leadership Survey (DERLS), and if not, we encourage you to do so now!
What comes after completing a DERLS? First, reflect on your strengths (what you marked as “Almost Always”) and celebrate them! Next, review the items that you marked as either “Sometimes” or “Not Yet.” Now, start small and plan for one or two of those items that you feel are important to improve. Use the last page of the DERLS packet to help you list out your strengths, goals, and even some strategies that can help you meet your goals.
Strategies can be found from various sources. Pull from the internet, books, or ask colleagues, friends and family for ideas. To help get you started, below are some sample strategies focusing on one item from each of the four key protective factors. We hope you give them a try!
Focus: Relationships – I cultivate supportive teamwork
Strategy: Get-to-Know-You Questions
The best teams work from a place of truly knowing one another. People feel more connected when they see each other’s full “human-ness.” Social connection improves physical health and psychological well-being. One study showed that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure. On the flipside, strong social connection leads to a 50 percent increased chance of longevity. Social connection strengthens our immune system, helps us recover from disease faster, and may even lengthen our life. People who feel more connected to others have lower rates of anxiety and depression. Moreover, studies show they also have higher self-esteem, are more empathic to others, more trusting and cooperative and, therefore, others are more open to trusting and cooperating with them. Social connectedness therefore generates a positive feedback loop of social, emotional and physical well-being. Teammates who feel connected will be healthier, happier and more productive (Seppala, 2012).
Consider starting conversations, small group gatherings and staff meetings by choosing one of the questions below and asking staff to share their answers:
- What would you most like to be remembered for when you are reminiscing about your life in your old age?
- What aspect of your personality adds the most value to the world?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what change would you make?
- If you could choose any one person, living or dead, whom would you most want to be like?
- Who had the most influence over the choices you eventually made for your life when you were growing up?
- What was the best day of your life and why?
- What soothes your spirit when you are unhappy or in a bad mood?
- What talent do you have that is not utilized successfully in your workplace?
- What are three things that you would change about your work environment that would make you a more successful employee?
Focus: Internal Beliefs – I demonstrate that I value staff diversity
Strategy: Staff Gifts
As a leader, you are given a gift each day in the skills and commitment offered by your staff. The warm “hello” individuals feel when the social worker answers the phone can be considered a gift. The wonderful canvas that hangs in the hallway, created in an activity led by the afterschool teacher, can be considered a gift. Each employee in a diverse workplace possesses unique strengths and weaknesses derived from their culture in addition to their individuality. When managed properly, value and respect for diversity in the workplace can leverage the strengths and complement the weaknesses of each worker to make the impact of the workforce greater than the sum of its parts. Bringing the gifts of each staff person to full capacity requires getting to know people, their points of view, their experiences and passions.
- Number a piece of paper from 1-10.
- Starting with number 1, begin writing the names of your various staff members, in no particular order. Just write the names as they come to you.
- When you have completed your list, take note of who is at the top of your list, the middle of your list, and who is at the bottom of the list.
- Further examine the list to see if you missed a particular name or names.
- Consider first, any names that you missed. Next, starting from the bottom of your list and working toward the top, answer the following reflection questions about those individuals:
- Staff Person Name
- What are their unique gifts? Be specific.
- Are the unique gifts this person offers being used positively within the organization?
- If YES, what can I do to ensure this person continues to utilize their gifts?
- If NOT SO MUCH, what can I do to change this?
The goal is to think intentionally about each member of your team and how you can ensure individual gifts are being used within your program.
Focus: Initiative – I encourage collaborative problem solving with staff
Strategy: Strength-Based Problem Solving
All too often, when we are faced with a problem, we focus on the negative aspects of the challenge. While this is a normal human reaction, strength-based, resilient leadership calls on us to also focus on the strengths that a situation may bring. When a leader is able to do this, staff notice and can also begin to look for strengths when problems arise.
Explanatory style is the way in which we explain the events that happen to us in our lives, either good or bad (Crane & Meyer, 2014). Some people have a pessimistic explanatory style and often take blame for situations. Others have more of an optimistic explanatory style, and do not take 100 percent blame for things that happen. They understand that many variables contribute to a problem.
As a resilient leader, it is important that you promote more of an optimistic explanatory style within your organization (Greenberg, 2015). This is especially important when working to collaboratively problem solve. To increase our resilience, as well as the resilience of our staff, we need to challenge our explanatory styles on each dimension by thinking accurately and flexibly about problems that arise.
When working to collaboratively solve problems, help your team practice more of an optimistic explanatory style by using language that is more optimistic and less pessimistic. For example, during a staff meeting when working to address a recent drop in enrollment, you can remind the team, “I trust that we each are doing our best and this will not last forever. If there is anything I can do to help ease your worries or address any concerns, please let me know.” Your honest, transparent responses, coupled with supportive practices, will help staff trust you and your intentions (Center for Creative Leadership, 2015). This trust may also aide in the process of collaborative problem solving.
Here are a few sentence starters that can help encourage a positive explanatory style. You can use these when communicating verbally or electronically.
- I trust…
- Please know…
- I may not understand…
- I choose to find…
- I kindly ask…
- I refuse to give up because…
- I receive all feedback with…
Focus: Self-Control – I validate the feelings of staff
Strategy: Practice Empathy Statements During Everyday Situations
Taking the perspective of staff and validating their feelings makes a big difference. In a study following 60 employees, researchers found that employees were less likely to report feeling sick if they had a manager with a strong inclination to take an employee’s perspective, and feel what he or she was feeling, whether it was a positive or negative emotion. These employees also felt happier after making progress toward their goals at work than other employees who made similar strides, but didn’t have an empathic manager. The authors suggest that managers who demonstrate empathy foster a climate of support and understanding at work, which boosts employee well-being. In turn, this might make these workplaces more productive and cost-effective (The Greater Good Science Center). Many of us know that we should validate feelings, but we often are at a loss for words when difficult moments arise. Hall (2010) explains that emotional invalidation is when a person’s thoughts and feelings are rejected, ignored, or judged. Invalidation is upsetting for anyone, but can be really hard for someone who is sensitive. Invalidation disrupts relationships and creates emotional distance.
To avoid creating this emotional distance, it is helpful to have a “go-to” phrase that prompts you to validate emotions and avoid the pitfall of denying people’s feelings. During your day-to-day interactions with staff, try to use more empathy statements when you are responding to their thoughts, ideas and experiences.
Try saying things like:
- It looks like you were feeling…
- You must be feeling…
- When you _____, I wonder if you were feeling _____?
- I’m sorry you are feeling so…
- I wonder if you are feeling…
- Are you feeling _____?
- When _____ happens, what does it make you feel?
- How did that make you feel?
- What happens inside you when…?
- How did you feel during that…?
Consider making yourself a cheat sheet or posting some simple reminders of these sample empathy statements to help you remember to do this more often!
