By Rudee Robertson | September 16, 2025
Every child comes into the world with a unique way of engaging, responding, and interacting. This individual style, known as temperament, is not something a child chooses, nor is it shaped entirely by the environment. From the very beginning, infants and toddlers demonstrate distinct patterns of behavior that influence how they explore, connect with others, and adapt to change.
Some babies are naturally curious and active, while others may be quieter, slower to warm up, or more sensitive to their surroundings. These differences are neither “good” nor “bad” – they simply reflect a child’s natural temperament. By observing these traits closely and responding sensitively, caregivers and families can create supportive environments that nurture each child’s growth.
The Nine Traits of Temperament
Research by Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess (1977) identified nine temperament traits that shape children’s experiences. These traits appear early in life and continue to influence development.
- Approach/Withdrawal – How children respond to new people, places, or activities. Some dive in eagerly, while others need time to warm up.
- Activity Level – Ranging from constant motion to calm contentment with quiet play.
- Quality of Mood – Whether children express themselves with frequent smiles and laughter, or more restrained emotions.
- Rhythmicity – How predictable sleeping, eating, and daily routines are.
- Intensity – The strength of emotional reactions, from quiet whimpers to loud cries or exuberant laughter.
- Adaptability – Children’s ability to adjust to changes and transitions.
- Persistence – Whether a child keeps trying when faced with challenges or easily gives up.
- Distractibility – Sensitivity to outside stimuli that can interrupt focus.
- Sensitivity – Awareness and responsiveness to sensory input, such as noise, textures, or light.
Together, these traits often cluster into three broad temperament “types”:
- Easy or flexible: Generally adaptable, cheerful, and regular in habits.
- Active or feisty: Intense, energetic, sometimes fussy and irregular in routines.
- Slow to warm or cautious: Hesitant with new situations but become more comfortable over time.
Why Temperament Matters
Understanding temperament helps families and caregivers avoid frustration, reduce stress, and meet children’s needs in ways that honor who they are. Here’s why it’s so essential:
- Builds stronger relationships: When caregivers see behaviors as temperament-linked rather than as “problems,” children feel accepted and understood.
- Supports emotional well-being: Adjusting caregiving strategies to match a child’s traits helps toddlers learn appropriate ways to express themselves.
- Prevents unnecessary conflict: Recognizing cues and anticipating challenges reduces power struggles and frustration for both adults and children.
A child who is highly active or intense, for instance, may need extra support in transitions or routines, while a slow-to-warm child might need patience and reassurance when adapting to a new environment.
Caregiver and Child: Finding a “Goodness of Fit”
Just as children have different temperaments, so do caregivers. Some are easy-going and flexible, while others prefer structure, or may themselves be highly energetic or quiet. The interplay between caregiver and child temperament is called the “goodness of fit.”
- A quiet caregiver paired with an energetic child may initially feel drained.
- A highly adaptable parent may feel impatient with a child who needs more time to adjust.
Recognizing these differences is the first step toward creating harmony. When caregivers acknowledge both their own temperament and the child’s, they can shift their expectations and strategies to create better balance.
Supporting Social and Emotional Development with Temperament in Mind
An understanding of temperament isn’t just useful for daily caregiving, it’s foundational for building children’s long-term social and emotional skills. Here are three ways to use that knowledge:
- Reflect on your own temperament. Knowing where you fall on the spectrum of traits helps you recognize both your strengths and possible challenges with certain children.
- Partner with families. Parents see their child in a different context and can provide valuable insight into routines, triggers, and what works best.
- Honor individuality. Respecting each child’s temperament allows you to tailor routines, guidance, and expectations so they feel supported, not pressured to change who they are.
Temperament reminds us that there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to caring for young children. By respecting differences rather than trying to “fix” them, caregivers and families can build relationships that nurture each child’s natural way of being.
In the end, the goal isn’t to change a child’s temperament; it’s to understand it well enough to help them thrive.
If you’d like to learn more, we invite you to explore the following resources:
https://challengingbehavior.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/understanding_temperament.pdf
