Behaviors, reasons, and needs: Understand and then plan

We can all agree that when children find positive, healthy ways to meet their needs, it is a wonderful moment. We can also agree that there are times when children may use not-so-positive ways. Often, the reasons behind this include: (1) to gain or get something they want or need, such as a toy or object, sensory stimulation, or attention; or (2) to avoid or escape something they don’t want to do such as an activity, a place, or an interaction with another child or adult. But can you really pinpoint the specific reason behind a behavior, even when it seems like it came out of nowhere? It’s certainly possible!

To make it possible, it’s essential to define the behavior as specifically as you can, and then gather information about what happened before, during, and after the behavior. Next, you can work on narrowing down the reasons behind the behavior and even for patterns in behavior. Patterns may show the behavior occurs at specific times, on certain days, with certain children or adults, or because of other factors/events. Only then can you make your best guess about the reason behind the behavior. All this information will be important when you meet with families to plan ways to support the child.

Consider the behavior examples below. For each one listed, there are two possible reasons a child might use the behavior, followed by the child’s possible needs. It’s important to remember that what the child needs from teachers and family members is related to the reasons behind the behavior, not the behavior itself. So, before you start working on a plan, make sure you understand those reasons, because any strategies you implement must be directly related.

Some behaviors are difficult to identify and address, in part because they often do not cause problems for other children or for the teachers. In a busy classroom filled with active, curious children, teachers may overlook a child who appears shy, withdrawn, passive, or unresponsive to others. Such a child might go unnoticed because her behavior is not disruptive. This type of behavior is internal. Here are a few examples of internalizing behaviors:

• A child rarely shows positive or negative feelings
• A child plays alone at a distance from other children
• A child watches other children play, but does not try to get involved
• A child avoids new experiences and challenges
• A child follows or stays close to teachers as they move around the classroom or outdoor play area
• A child sits apart from other children during group time
• A child answers questions in a whisper and/or only with “yes” or “no” responses

When children use these types of behaviors, they may be unable to fully take part in and benefit from early childhood experiences. As with externalizing, disruptive forms of behaviors such as tantrums and aggression, it is critical to address behaviors such as the ones previously listed.

Remember, all behavior is communication. When children are using behaviors that you find challenging or disruptive, they are communicating to you that they have a need. It’s up to you to decipher that need, along with parents/families, before moving forward with a plan.

For more information and guidance on what comes after understanding the behavior, check out Promoting Resilience in Preschoolers: A Strategy Guide for Early Childhood Professionals, 2nd Ed.