We all want to be happy and to achieve in life. We all also know that life can come at us and knock us down, and that we must pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. But how do we do that? How do we face great risk but continue to find success and happiness, despite the odds against us? With resilience, and focusing on what contributes to our resilience and well-being.
Resilience is the ability to “bounce back” from misfortune or change. A resilient person tends to have something in their life which helps them overcome challenges and move forward in positive ways. That “something” includes their protective factors, and there are four key protective factors that contribute to our resilience.
Relationships are the mutual, long-lasting, back-and-forth bond we have with other people in our lives.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
This quote highlights the importance of human relationships. Don’t we all want to love and feel loved? What is the payoff for having healthy relationships in our lives? Relationships support us in:
- Laughing more
- Feeling healthy
- Nurturing hope
- Feeling supported
- Having fun
- Sharing our emotions
- Being honest
There is no doubt that life can bring rough weather, but isn’t it easier to weather the storms with a friend? You may have many strong relationships or maybe just a few. The number does not matter. What matters is what those relationships bring to your life. Quality over quantity.
Internal Beliefs are the feelings and thoughts we have about ourselves and our lives, and how effective we think we are at taking action in life.
When internal core beliefs about yourself are positive, they can serve as a cozy energy blanket around you. You can shrug off hurtful comments, accept compliments, and use your positive feelings to cope with life’s ups and downs. It is never too late to start building yourself up. Positive internal beliefs lay a foundation for:
- Setting goals and sticking to them
- Learning from your mistakes
- Bouncing back from major life events and loss
- Accepting praise
- Trusting others
- Handling unexpected challenges
- Going with your instincts
Initiative is the ability to make positive choices and decisions and to act upon them.
Individuals with initiative:
- Are “go-getters.” For them, each day represents an opportunity to take on new challenges and risks.
- Are excited about what today holds and look forward with great anticipation to what tomorrow will bring.
- Are often creative and can find more than one solution in a situation.
- Are often planners who carefully think through life’s ups and downs and adjust accordingly.
As an adult in the lives of children, it is important to set an example of eagerness and curiosity that a spirit of initiative will bring. Faced with difficulty, those with initiative will make decisions and act upon them to move from a state of “what is” to a state of “what can be.”
Self-Control is the ability to experience a range of feelings and to express them using appropriate words and actions.
It is important to authentically express our feelings, but sometimes we have difficulty. What do we do for young children to help them learn to express their emotions? We tend to label the emotions with words, acknowledge the emotions, and validate the feelings. We provide support along the way to help them through feelings. We can and should continue to do the same for ourselves. If we don’t, our emotions can begin to control our behavior. If we do, we can begin to feel more balanced and take time to read our bodies’ cues. We breathe when we need to calm down, relax when we feel tired, and kick up our heels when we are happy and full of life.
Keep this in mind: the journey to resilience is never ending. In other words, it’s never too early or too late to build your resilience, and there will always be room for more of it. Life will bring uncertainty and joy, and when we are resilient, we begin to embrace it all and live life to the fullest. Continue to focus on these four areas of your life and be the resilient person you are meant to be. It matters. You matter.
Excerpted from Building Your Bounce: Simple Strategies for a Resilient You
Looking for support to help build up these four protective factors? We invite you to check out our self-paced learning experience, where you will learn about and focus on key behaviors related to each protective factor. Click here to learn more.
April 8, 2024
